Pregnancy Day ... uh 29 days left!: 

With just under a month until my little ones arrival, I'm starting to become more and more sensitive and nervous.

Every little thing people say makes me panic.

"Oh you're carrying her too high, are you sure it's not a boy?"
"Oh isn't it early for them to schedule a csection?"
"Oh if she's sitting a certain way they might cut her out differently"
"Oh you didn't do genetic testing?"

Etc etc etc.

And if I'm not worried about whats been happening to her while she's inside me about to come out, I've got to worry about what to do when she's here.

"What about vaccinations?"
"What about Autism?" 
"What about hormones in milk proteins?"
"What if she's got hearing or sight problems?"

What I try and tell myself is that she's fine. That I'm not hurting her. That she's not hurting me. That it's 2012 and if she does end up allergic to certain foods or have vision problems we're in a great time to help correct or manage them.

It's just scary as hell.

My mom always likes to talk about how she never gave herself the chance to think about the bad stuff. My initial chance of survival was about 30% and she just never really thought about it or doubted my ability to overcome it. She could be lying but I'm inclined to believe her because that's the type of person she is. I desperately wish I could be more like her. Instead of worrying about EVERYTHING I can't control. Thankfully I have Alan as well. Whose more concerned about how we're going to manage raising her than unlikely "what-ifs." He says its because she's gotta have some of me in her. Who despite my need to over analyze and worry about everything, I am at the end of the day (and always have been from the start) a survivor. Most of that can be credited to the people around me though. So "here here" to positive thoughts and good vibes.