"There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon..."

It snowed for the first time a few days ago, the kind that falls like stars at hyper speed. I was driving to an old bar I used to frequent for one of my oldest friends birthday party (more on that later) when this song came on “One and Only - Teitur“ followed by this song “Wedding Dress - Matt Nathanson“ (coincidentally off a mix said friend had made me as a wedding present). And just like that, cue movie montage of my romantic history in picture perfect winter settings.

Suddenly I was standing in a parking lot with my hands jammed in my pockets watching him shiver as I worked up the courage to finally tell him how I felt. I was leaving light footprints leading up to his and watching his face light up as we stood there under the lights of that dingy theater listening to the snow fall. I was breathless and warm in the front seat of his truck after seeing each other for the first time in a year. I was gripping tightly to the edge of a hot tub not caring that my hands burned from the cold as he pulled me closer. I was listening to him laugh as I’d tried to pass him the puck on that frozen lake. I was screaming and laughing when he tackled me during a game of “Power Ball.” I was brushing snow off my pants as he put out his cigarette. I was burying my head in my coat as we sat in the parking lot waiting for his car to warm up. I was holding his hand inside my pocket and resting my head on his shoulder as we stood there looking at ice sculptures.

In reality, I was sitting at a stop light on Crooks and none of those memories were with the same person. I like winter, but I love snow. It makes my life romantic and my feelings pure and real. It makes me remember first crushes and falling in love. It layers the dark death of fall with a light blanket of silence. Unlike summer that is full of impulse and lust and recklessness (which I’m also quite fond of), moments in the snow give me something so much deeper.

Considering I only talk to one of those guys now, it’s been a long time since I’d thought of some of those memories and it felt good to go back even just for a few minutes.