Oops.

My husband is a very sensitive person.

He is the type of guy that spends longer in the bathroom doing his hair than I do. The type that cares more about his bicycle then hanging out with his friends. The type that actually turns off his video games when I ask and hates cheap beer and contact sports. He is sweet and soulful and clumsy and cried when his kitten died.

I think that’s what drew me to him in the first place. He had this hidden vulnerability that I’d been unable to tap into within my own personality.

When we first started getting serious we struggled with our roles. At least I did. His decision to become a chef changed us greatly. For months and months I begged him to participate in our relationship and participate in his life. I would clean and cook and do everything I could think of to please him. Even if it meant suppressing parts of what I thought made us (or me) special. I asked my friends for advice, I asked my parents, I asked him in the middle of the night while we held hands.

And then…I stopped caring so much. The stress was too much.

So I started living like a single girl in the middle of an engagement and well into our early stages of marriage.

Then there was another shift.

He started doing the dishes and our laundry and cleaning the bathroom and killing spiders and cooking dinner every night we were actual home at the same time. He never got mad or asked me where I’d been and why I hadn’t picked up the living room even if I’d been home for 6 hours. He’d even sit down and watched my stories with me. He never asked for my help, even if I tried too.

So I have to ask. Did I turn my husband into a woman or was he already one?