Most of my inspiration has been stuck in photography lately. I fall asleep dreaming of new ideas and stay up late googling the competition.
I have two weeks until I turn in my application for grad school and even though I've been doing really well in school for the first time ever...I secretly hope I don't get in.
Alan's right. Most of my life gets put on the back burner when it's nice out.
I don't think it means anything. I'm just afraid of big things. Of certain movement. I over-think to a place where I barely register what an impulse is. I made the right choice leaving the bank and trying to go back to school. I took the right step if I ever want to find employment in any type of academic environment. I'm ok. I'm spoiled. I'm perfectly content lying on my new couch in shorts and a tank top with the door-wall open, listening to the birds sing.
At this moment I am happy. Happy with this apartment. Happy playing with my camera. Happy with my life. And even though this drastic weather patterned will probably change the tide and kills a bunch of sea life or plummet businesses dealing with winter jackets...I'm ok with that.
Ok. Ok. I'm not.
I need the winter to remind me to appreciate the warm sun, just like I know I need listlessness to remind me what enjoying my life feels like. So I know this total sense of ease I feel will need to pass too. I can't be laying around forever. I need a purpose.
So I completely hope I do get in.
Only time will tell and until then at least I found my camera love again.
(Last shot, NOT with my camera. Well with my camera phone...just a self portrait I did with a friend's Nikon.)
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