Remember when I used to blog? Oops.

Lists lists lists....

Growing up, I never had an answer to what everyone considered the most important question. I could never visualize concrete images of my future self. "What do you want to do when you grow up?" was only ever responded with a shrug or a slightly sarcastic "I dunno, happy?" After enough years and enough frustrated sighs from my parents I began to believe that NOT knowing what I wanted to do forever meant I didn't know how to want things. So when I was 18 and sitting in my first community college course, I wrote down all the things I wanted to do.

2002 (*completed)

- Dye my hair (blue/orange/purple) - Pink*
- Go to roller skating hall of fame
- Take road-trip to California and/or Maine
- Take an award winning photograph and sell it for big bucks
- Write a teen novel
- Meet a movie star
- Find a person to take me to a place in which I can wear beautiful gowns/dresses
- Go to or participate in a modeling shoot
- Let loose, dress like a "hoe" and go clubbing
- Have a fling
- Have a storybook romance
- Invent a way to get rid of stretch marks
- Travel and live in Europe for a summer
- Spend a month being a vegetarian
- Date an artist or musician for short time
- Make-out with R, M, D , A, J and T (though not at the same time)
- Become a doctor
- Own my own business
- Work as a waitress in some greasy diner
- Become a master chess player
- Learn to bartend
- Learn how to surf
- Be a fashion editor
- Work on a movie set
- Try out for Broadway
- Learn to drive stick-shift
- Learn to shoot (a gun/bow)
- Take another dance class
- Own the roof of an apartment building
- Become some sort of icon who is later put in history books
- Sky dive, scuba dive and learn to dive
- Make an amazing tree house for my future kids
- Travel out of state on a motorcycle
- Sunbath nude
- Learn to cook well
- Swim with dolphins
- Skinny dip
- Participate in a ball
- Look amazing at my class reunion
- Figure out which finger I'll put my wedding band on
- Go to/on SNL
- Have 3 or 4 kids
- Figure out which University I want to go to
- Make-out with someone I don't know
- Visit NY again

I've been caring it around in my wallet for almost 10 years. In 2007 (at the five year mark) I made a new one.

2007 (*completed)

- Live in CA/CO/the south/Europe (and own homes accordingly)
- Visit Canada and Iceland
- Learn Italian
- Get my own column
- Learn the rules of hockey
- Create (great) art
- Write grandma's story
- Learn more about my heritage
- Change someone's world
- Go hot air ballooning
- Get a perm
- Write a book
- Get married
- Make a movie/get involved with one
- Learn to play set again
- Surf again
- Have kids
- Read more
- Gain weight beautifully
- Urban Outfitter's an apartment
- Travel once a season
- Exploit someone's talent
- Own a motorcycle
- Be in a wedding party
- Save yourself
- Have a tire swing and hammock
- Test out different religions
- Go fishing more often
- Write more letters
- Go paint-balling
- Run a company

Now as were about to enter 2012 I feel like it's time for a new one. Something to remind me that feeling/or being lost doesn't mean you have to be depressed about it.

Stay tuned...

90s Kids

This makes me happy: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/10-things-90s-kids-will-have-to-explain-to-their-children/

Foul Play

The Hubs impression of my sexy talk (all "mee mee's" are to be pronounced much like Beaker from the Muppets)

"Mee mee mee my family me me you're a nice boy me me your parents me me me your cat died!"

Hahaha. Poor guy.

Harshest Critic

I don’t have an audience yet and I think that’s why these entries are abrupt and strange and not really saying anything. I don’t know how to tell a story because I don’t know who I’m telling it to.

I’m writing to the three people I actually gave this address to.
I’m writing to strangers that might stumble upon it.
I’m writing to the people that I know ,that might read it one day.

How have I not gotten away from this yet?

Hi. I love you.

: So this kid that used to live down our street and graduated in my sister's class, was always kind of ... pudgy to say the least.

Anyway.

He's super effing hot now.

and i think I have to defriend him on facebook now.

: hahahahaha

: So that I can stop lusting

Am I the "queen of filth" ?

I now know that one of the most difficult aspects of marriage is that you don’t always like your partner. Love? Of course, always. But like? Some days it’s just not that easy. What complicates this for me is that my husband never seems to feel that way. Sure we’ve gotten in fights but he never actually says “go away, I don’t like you right now” or look at me like I’m a complete stranger or ever say anything he wishes he could take back.

And maybe this is because we’re so new at this game or perhaps he’s just better at concealing it then I am. Occasionally I wonder if it’s really because he doesn’t know me at all.

When we were first dating and he was working at the same restaurant as a mutual friend, he would always get asked why I said certain things or acted a certain way and every time he would just respond “she’s just like that” without a hint of distaste. Just 100% accepting. My husband ladies and gentlemen, a modern day “Westley”

Westley from the Princess Bride.


Alan, skeptical of my comparison.


When people ask me about him, I always say exactly who he is that day. Annoying? Sure. An asshole? Some days. Adorable? Always.

Am I a bad wife? Worse a bad person because I’m the first to expose this? Or am I just being a typical woman?